Boston Divorce

Human relationships are always the real source of various complexities .when we are born , we are given a set of relations that we gradually acquire and understand in due course of time and thus adjust ourselves accordingly.

For a five year old , its difficult to understand what it takes to make his parents be proud of him but he sure does know what he can do to make them happy.But with every single year being added to one's life. the focus on self-gratification reaches a point when it becomes more important for an individual to do things that garner him mirth.Philosophically speaking , the real happiness lies in the happiness of those we love. But when the eternal feeling of love is redefined in one's own comforts and conditions, it becomes a root cause for a fall out in relationships. But even the relationships we choose ( and hope for their being perpetual) end, and leave behind a lot of bitterness, which shatters a lot apart from just a marriage, then the phenomena of seperation is questioned. Divorce , a word that destroys one's faith in love and an institution called 'marriage'.

From questions like " How many times have i told you not to leave the toilet seat open.." to the ones like - ''Where did i go wrong honey, in bed or...'' Such 'irritations' or rather aptly termed 'deceptions' leave the sufferer from momentary to permanent pain , eventually costing him or her the life they dreamt of, the success they expected out of the respective relationships. Actually nobody knows what the real reasons are for an end of a relationship. One can only find out sooner or later where he/she went wrong. Many relationships don't work because the spouses don't feel connected to each other. The actual physical one proceeds the emotional bondage, which in most cases is absent. It's about speaking to your partner at the right time and with the correct frame of mind.You may not come up with things that he wants to hear and she may not be impressed by the antics you think are amusing to you yourself. Life then is a matter of understanding. In an arranged marriage one learns about his respective spouse with more mayhem and uncertainty.

After all its a complete stranger at the other end. But things can work well even this way, whereas in love marriage , demands from each other are sky high. You think you know each other from a long time and hence you do not have to re-consider your decision anymore. For a girl , the boyfriend is a shadow of her expectations of a husband and so she sees him as an ultimate spouse. But there is a huge difference between a boyfriend and a husband. Apart from the civil union, its about sharing the same bed, washroom, apartment and most probably, life. Infact it is advisable to most candyfloss teenagers to learn quickly what the difference is between the two relations and that the line has to be drawn somewhere. As for the married couples, there isn't just one thing that works for or destroys a relation , one has to take care of each other emotionally and physically. Lets accept it , Sex is an integral part of one's life and dissatisfaction in bed can lead to a lot of problems. Understand your spouse's needs in bed, even if you don't agree , don't just lash out by completely disregarding one's feelings. If there is a hang up in your own psyche , take psychologist's help , if your spouse isn't in line with the norms of ''regular'' lovemaking then suggest them to do so, but don't just leave the matter.There is no substitute to eating , sleeping, breathing and so sex is as natural as all these

factors of life and can not be replaced by any other thing. Ideally speaking, ever since the concept of marriage started in human civilization , its the infidelity that has broken the hearts. But what can possibly be the reason behind this numero uno cause A common answer , and a widely accepted one , is the sexual dissatisfaction, which makes sense also since it was quite OK in the early times to step out of the marriage for physical gratification. Human beings are sexual beings and the need to get what's there in everybody's mind changes a lot of mindsets and theories.People move out of the respective relationships and think they can manage on their own and be happy.But the guilt never lets anybody live peacefully.A lot of sleepless nights, a lot of bitter arguments and a lot of let downs in one's faith for another.The least that can be done to save a relationship is loads and loads of introspection.That is the only option that can actually HELP people realise what went wrong because of their own misunderstandings and failure to gauge each other's capacity to work things out.And still if it isn't working then just set things free, there is nothing more you can do. Its now advisable to seperate. This should not happen, but it happens and it so happens that it leaves a life long bitterness in both hearts, not just for one another but in one's trust over relationships too.And it eventually leaves a question that everybody wants the answer to , with unavoidable impatience, what should one do to bring back the positivity of life what can be done to re-establish one's faith in another human being.

Recently , a bollywood flick 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna' caused a lot of stir among the media and the fans in India and US about the storyline and the crux of the movie. People had mixed reviews about the movie. According to me the best wrap up to any such movie should be moving on in life, moving on with someone , leaving behind the bitter experiences of the past.The New York times too, had a near similar opinion about the movie which wrote-'' The movie is a clear departure from the genre's usual happily-ever-after. If the marriage isn't working. It says unmistakably, Divorce is the answer'' . Rightly said. The same goes for people who go through the trauma of being deceived. Life is the matter of dynamics, one cannot and should not stop for anyone. Last year Jennifer Aniston was chosen the 'Woman of the Year' for having been successful in getting over a failed relationship with ex- husband Brad Pitt. Nobody knows how tough it must have been for Ms Aniston to forget someone and eventually think that there can be life without him.But she did , and she did it with dignity and self-respect . Actually ,we are nobody to discuss the reasons of the break-up, but yes the positivity of the 'Friends Star' re-affirmed what the world thinks of such efforts and how nicely and aptly these steps are recognised and appreciated.

To be honest , its not easy to deal with such a delicate issue. Parting ways with someone you have shared your life with , is a clear indication that the same is not going to happen in the near future with someone else. But its a human nature, the spirit to bounce back and optimistically find what's every soul's right-LOVE....!

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